Gradual Changes
One refrain that I heard over and over from former parents was that overnight, Maren would suddenly cry much less (at 3 months) and then later, that there would suddenly be a completely peaceful night.
I haven’t found that to be the case with Maren. At three months I was expecting this great transformation and instead, we got more neediness and fussiness. We were prepared for this due to some reading about that period, but I was surprised that I hadn’t experienced this overnight change.
I’ve started suspecting that the overnight idea has more to do with our perception changing as parents than with a sudden change in our children’s behavior. Like when one day you realize your coworker has lost a lot of weight. They of course have lost it pound by pound, week by week, over the course of months, but your idea of them has finally met enough change that you can no longer NOT notice and it feels sudden. Actual change can be smooth and gradual, but our re-actions seem terraced.
Like the moment I realized I didn’t have to hold up Maren’s head any more, or that she was no longer crying when leaving the tub, or that her smiles were no longer a random muscle fire, but an honest reaction to the pleasure she was taking in being warm and safe and loved.
